Friday, December 26, 2014

Okay so North Korea is acting like an overgrown child and Cuba is America's new BFF, what else is new?

Note: This was written on December 18, 2014: When the fate of The Interview was in the balance and Cuba just decided to become friends with the U.S. It's not that long ago, but I guess I should clarify since some things have changed since then...

I know, I know... they have soooo much in common! Okay. Not really, besides both being hot topics on the news, but can't say it wasn't wishful thinking right? As I'm sure everyone in the world has seen (but not yet seen or ever will see really) is the issue with the (once) upcoming "popular?" film The Interview, starring (the two most awesomest dudes/besties/bromance ever) Seth Rogen and James Franco.

The movie was supposed to be about, what I could gather as, two hilariously bumbling reporters attempting to follow through on an order received from the CIA to attempt to assassinate the leader of North Korea, Kim Jong Un (after being invited to North Korea by him in the first place). If you want to double check me on that, check out the Wikipedia page that was already decked out for the movie.

Now, the film is probably never going to be seen because North Korea got offended?

What I want to say is just: Hold Up. I don't understand why this has to be such a big issue! I mean it's not even that serious! (I mean even the assassination scene in this film is not even that serious) The movie is a comedy for goodness sakes!! (And PLUS since when has America ever put the feelings of another country into consideration? We do what we want, when we want BECAUSE we're Americans!) Besides doesn't anyone remember the film that was made that happened to involve the assassination of Saddam Hussein? While he was still alive? At least he didn't seem butthurt by it. But on the other hand, I guess if there was a movie about an assassination attempt on my head then I wouldn't be happy either... But really, HACKERS?

I'm serious when I tell you this is what I thought of when the news was initially talking about the hackers... No lie.

In a place where I didn't even know people had "unlimited" access to computers? (Unless that internet is being used in the same fashion that America had used its internet before it was available to the public? Y'know... by only the military?) I know that Asians are smart and that they could hack into anything, I even watched a video in which there was something on China and its massive "cyber" hold over America (unfortunately I have no idea where I was looking at that).

It was all like: "Hey, one wrong move America and I'm going to hack you up" and America's like: "Yeah, not buying it, but it doesn't hurt to be careful."

"The fact that North Korea saw a threat in a movie made by Seth Rogen and James Franco, really says a lot about the kind of regime that's being dealt with" (As stated by Obama at his estrogen-dominated year-end news conference). Can I really take the North Korean regime seriously?

Well, personally I think they're fooling no one, because as adorable as Kim Jong Un looks right now, I can definitely say with conviction that he's acting even more like a kid than usual. And it's soooo cute, I really can't take him seriously.

I would call it childishness, but others have already gone ahead and claimed that North Korea is (strategically) going crazy.

Of course the fact that he also possesses missiles and other Nuclear weapons, raises his age up quite a bit, but still I guess I would call him a child genius, because even though he's being smart, it's clear that he wants to show everyone that he's totally effed-up and he's just about ready to eff anyone who tells him that to his face.

Not that anyone would tell him that to his face... Hey! look at some more stuff that makes North Korea look crazy.

But WAIT? Isn't Sony... An Asian company? Shouldn't Asians have countermeasures against other Asians? Especially Japan versus North Korea? Shouldn't they of all people know what North Korea is capable of (besides obviously China and South Korea)?!

Let's look at who's in charge shall we?

Okay... So, now I'm confused... But wait didn't this involve Sony Pictures

Ohhhh Great. An American. Well that explains everything. Didn't see that one coming...

Well shame on you Michael Lynton! I'm joking... you really didn't do anything wrong... But, Obama himself said something along the lines of: We cannot let a dictator of someplace start imposing censorship on America, just because he didn't like the movie. We cannot allow the practice of censorship of American self-expression, because then that would not be representative of what America is all about anyway! So in a way (and Obama said this too) Sony Pictures "made a mistake" in taking down the film and in giving in to the fear that North Korea wanted to instill in the hearts of those working for and connected to Sony Pictures at least.

You gotta admit though the stuff that was leaked by the hackers was kind of funny, especially since they allowed me to uncover this spectacularly crazy gem (please read it, if you're not already reading it already... go in with an open mind and you'll come to enjoy this extraordinary piece of work).

But of course now we know that there's nothing to worry about anymore because, (as was evidenced when I went to New York City on Christmas Eve, in big black letters) The Interview is now being released as planned (albeit in select theatres...)! And it's even on YouTube!!

 Can everyone agree with me that this looks free? I'm afraid to click on it because I'm not sure how long it will last and I hope I don't have to pay for it.. Otherwise I'll watch it later. Definitely a good film for the family.
Oh and of course! In other news, Cuba has now become America's new BFF! I believe it's about time that someone went around and ended this ridiculous manly standoff and turn over a new leaf in International friendship. Also I think everyone else thought that America cutting off Cuba because of its irrational fear over communism, was kind of ridiculous too.

And there was also this spectacular show of technological advancement in the protection against Nuclear war!
That was awesome too.

This newly christened relationship between the U.S. and Cuba will no doubt be a riveting chapter in America's history books (along with the Sony Hacking of course). Now, since they're friends, how about ending the embargo as well... hmmm?

"Raul...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship"

And besides if this dictator can be friends with the leader of the free world after everything that's happened between them, who's to say that another dictator can't eventually become friends? I mean didn't Dennis Rodman say that all Kim Jong Un wants is a phone call with Obama talking about their shared love for basketball? I think they're gonna look at what is happening now and the near not-so-distant really distant future.

"I just broke your internet... but we're gonna laugh about this later"


Still Curious about North Korea and Cuba? Check out these links:

**How about more stuff starring Seth Rogen and James Franco?

SIDE NOTE: Can I just mention how funny and cute Seth Rogen's laugh is? 

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