Tuesday, June 7, 2016

What's a Pediatrician?

Obviously, one day I would like to have a significant other so that we could do... whatever people do with their significant others. Of course, that is easier said than done. Firstly, because I have never gone about naturally knowing (or caring, really) how to get a boyfriend. When I do happen to ask my friends, they ALL respond: "Well, it just happens."
Unless you happen to be stuck with this totally legit scenario (haha a role model to all OAG's)
(Source: Laina | image)
I mean that was the entire point of my question, so I know what happens, but alas thanks to my background in biology, I fear that I have become too scientific and analytical, but that's beside the point.

When I also ask my friends about what about me would make good "girlfriend material," more often than not, the response is: "Well, Debs ... you see, you're not necessarily girlfriend material, but you are definitely wifey material."

I have absolutely no comment to the amount of times that I have heard that exact same response from at least 5 of my friends, on 5 different days. How in the world does that even make sense? What the heck do you have to be in order to be a wife? Do you not have to be a girlfriend for a given amount of time before becoming someone's fiancé and then wife?

Or am I just that good?

Let me reiterate. 

For example, do I look like the type of person who has my ducks in a row and I know how to get things done? Do I look like I’m not going to pretend to be something I’m not just to get someone to like me? Do I seem like I’m not as scatterbrained as I thought? Do I look like a person who is reliable and not afraid of commitment?

If so, then thank you friends for giving me such a wonderful complement. I guess I do look like wifey material.

Unless you’re saying I dress like a mom, then why are we still friends?

Regardless, that was not the main point of this story.

This story begins one day while walking to an English class. I was wearing my favorite pokéball hat and I happened upon this guy who (was super cute and) was also walking my way.

Let’s call him Gary.

Gary: (walks up next to me, unnoticed until) “Wow, that’s a real nice hat. You like Pokémon?”

Me: (startled, reflecting on my preparedness for class, turns around, well hello there good looking!) “Oh. Hi….” (Touching my head, like a total smart person) “Yeah, this is my favorite hat.”

Gary (getting closer to me): “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just noticed the hat and wanted to see who was wearing it. I’m Gary, by the way.

(Flashing the brightest pearly whites I’ve ever seen, it was probably enough to make sunlight break through the overcast skies)

Me (Thinking, was that a pickup line? Probably best to ignore): “I’m Deborah. Thanks for noticing.”

Gary: “Where you heading? I’m heading into this building.”

Me: “Me too.”

Gary: “Great, I get to spend at least a couple more minutes talking to you, what class are you taking?”

Me: “Literature in the Diverse World.”

Gary: “Yeesh, sounds complicated, not a big fan of papers myself. Is that for your major?”

Me: “No. It’s for my minor. I’m a biology major.”

Gary: “Really? That’s amazing, what do you want to do with that?”

(I probably should’ve realized that there was a point this seemingly pointless interrogation session…)

Me (eyes twinkling): “I want to become a pediatrician.”

Gary (brief pause, thinking, no change of facial expression): “A pediatrician, huh? I’m not sure what that is…"

(There were possibly other red flags that I missed, but I was widely alert at this point)

Gary: “I do know what a podiatrist is though, is it close to that?”

Me: “Uh… No. Listen. A pediatrician is a doctor that treats children, you must have gone to one at least once or a couple times in your life. A podiatrist on the other hand, is a foot doctor. It was nice meeting you, goodbye.”

Well that just happened.

Needless to say, I never saw Gary again.

Maybe I don’t need a boyfriend after all?

Thanks mom.