Thursday, December 25, 2014

I'm telling you, If I were ever to be the black person in a horror movie, I wouldn't be the one to go first

Note: This post was written at 3:34 this morning, please enjoy my coherent writing. If anything doesn't make sense, it's not my fault, you're just not reading it right. 

Okay so right now I'm up at 3:34 in the morning, because apparently my brother fell asleep watching television forgot to turn off the TV in an attempt to spite my parents because they told him to go to sleep because of forgetfulness.

I also decided to get a glass of water, because it was late night and I was thirsty, but something deterred me from my route to the kitchen.

I heard a sound coming from the kitchen, that eerily reminded me off a what a horror film suspense track should might must sound like since I've never watched them.

It sounds like (note I'm using present tense because I'm in my room and I still hear the sound) a mix between Scuttle's wonderful singing in the Little Mermaid's "Kiss the Girl," and maybe a Skrillex some type of dubstep song... you know that sound right before the beat drops in just about every dubstep song? (I don't think Skrillex could describe what I'm hearing right now).

It comes and goes and it just keeps getting louder a lot like my father's snoring, but then after a few seconds it stops.

And then it comes back again.

And then it stops.

I was in the hallway at the crossroads between my bedroom and the kitchen and the bathroom and the living room and my parents' room, but I just couldn't make out where the sound was coming from.

I decided to first go towards the living room, but I knew the sound wasn't coming from there because as soon as I went there the sound died down.

Then I approached the kitchen, which then the sound grew extremely concentrated and I could feel and hear the suspense building (literally) as I approached the kitchen... Was something wrong with the fridge?

Then I thought about something.

"What if this is like some kind of trap? You know what they always say... The black person always goes first in the horror movies because they're always put in the role of being the investigational type..."

You can always get convincing arguments out of yourself when it's almost 4 in the morning...

So while standing in the crossroads again, I said to myself: "Ahh... Screw this, I'm not about to be that black person... I'm going to bed"

And then as I was turning around to go to my room, I decided to check in my parents' room just to be sure that the sound I was hearing was not in fact the sound of my father snoring... Which? It wasn't. Unfortunately, that meant something or someone else was making that noise.

But I decided not to think about it and I went back to bed. The sound finally went away and then I thought, "oh well I guess I was being a bit paranoid..."

Then after what seemed like a few minutes... the sound came back and it was across from me in my own room! In the direction of my brother's bed...

Did I anger some kind of TV spirit lurking in the television set and now it's mad at me?

Am I going to be visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and/or future?

I thought about these questions and then I turned towards my brother's bed and then I said:

"Oh God... My brother's a terminator?"

But then I guess he responded back to me like I was handicapped (I originally put something else here, but I know how some people are sensitive for these things), by snorting like this was by far the stupidest that he had ever his sleep. (My brother has a knack for detecting stupidity a mile away)

Then I decided that there was nothing to worry about... I mean the sound right now sounds like a cat purring... A really loud cat. Or maybe something vibrating? A vibrating-purring cat that can be heard through nearly all the walls of my house... Okay. See?

Nothing to worry about. I definitely hear these types of sounds all the time... Especially those of vibrating-purring terminator cats, whose main goal in life is to target only black people...

Alright... Time to go to sleep.

P.S: Oh my goodness, I think I just made up the script for a movie called: "Horror on Christmas Morning." You're Welcome.

Now I just gotta focus on surviving tonight.

P.P.S: Regardless Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate.

P.P.P.S: Could someone tell me if this is true anyway? Are "black" people really the first one to go in horror movies? Or should I rephrase this and put "minority"?

P.P.P.P.S: Is "investigational" a word? Blogger says that it isn't, but I'm pretty sure it is...

P.P.P.P.P.S: Don't worry, your regularly scheduled post (or the one I was supposed to post today) will return shortly.

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